If you haven’t already noticed, I have a great affinity for expressing myself. Today I felt a minor breakthrough. It feels as though I am going deeper into my voice. For most of my life I have kept quiet. Speaking in front of people is something I love, but also terrifies me. My beliefs never matched my environment, but now that we are traveling full-time, things feel different. When I am traveling, I feel free. When I feel free, I tend to want to express myself more, especially through writing. And the more I write, the more I get comfortable with saying what I think and how I feel. I also realize the more comfortable I get, I am either going to inspire people or offend people.
I wrote a long short story called Slaves to Society. It is based on true events, but is weaved with fiction. It is honest, raw and vulgar. I didn’t hold back. It felt really good writing it. It feels good to write in general and right now I am on a writing high. I never write to hurt peoples feelings or to make anyone feel bad. That’s not my intention. My goal as a writer is to clear my mind and heart. It is to light people up and make them think differently. I want to inspire others. Someone I find inspirational is Gary Vaynerchuck. He is a very successful entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker. He doesn’t say what you want to hear, he says what you need to hear. Some people may find him harsh or offensive. I find him refreshing. He cuts through the bullshit.
What are some of the most difficult things in life? Maybe it’s being honest with yourself. Maybe it is just being yourself. Sometimes we can be afraid to speak honestly, because it may hurt someones feelings. Sometimes we avoid showing a side of ourselves because it is not accepted by a group of people. Sometimes we lie to ourselves to avoid the pain of starting over. I’m not perfect and I have struggled with all of these topics. It is why I am so passionate about embracing my truth and following my dreams.
My spiritual teacher once told my class that he hoped our lives fell apart. That is a statement that can be viewed as harsh and offensive. What he meant was that he hoped that any of the lies that we were holding onto would fall apart. That is one of the reasons we were in the class in the first place. We all wanted to see our truth and dissolve the lies we were living. We all wanted to live more of an authentic life. Sometimes it is uncomfortable admitting to yourself and others that you are living a lie. Sometime it is difficult being honest.
As I take this deep dive into my voice I know I will inspire and I will offend. I know some people will love what I say and also hate what I say. Right now I am neutral to it all. I am just going to keep writing because the more I change from within, the more of an impact I can have on the world. Standing in your truth, that is how I see people changing the world.
Find Your Freedom,
5.10.18 | NJ