the Artist: a Loser until Success

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When you are a young artist, people adore you. Maybe you play guitar, sing, make jokes or paint. People think it’s cool. But something happens as you get older. If you haven’t landed a record deal, wrote a best seller or acted in a major film – suddenly, you become a loser. You are just a nobody most likely working a low paying job. Prestige does not exude from your body. But if you make it as an artist early on, people love you. People are proud of you. What about the adults who are still trying to make it? Where is the love?

I remember a conversation I had with my ex girlfriends mother a long time ago. I was talking about what I wanted to major in for college. I wanted to be a writer. No not a writer or editor for a newspaper. I wanted to be a screenwriter and novelist. Disbelief filled up the room like a skunk spraying in self defense. She didn’t need to say anything. Her face spoke volumes. She did not believe in my path. I would come to realize that many others would not believe in my path. It is not safe nor it is smart. People don’t make it as Artists. Only the privileged and lucky get to do that. Sure, being privileged and lucky are probably reasons why some make it. I was not lucky nor was I privileged, but what I have is persistence. No matter how many times I fall down, I will eventually get back up and go for it again. 

A man with big dreams is not an ideal husband. The ideal husband is someone who can find a job, keep it for thirty years and make enough for the family to live comfortably. Dreams of being a rock star, an actor, a writer or an entrepreneur – go ahead and bury them and get serious. Everyone else has to do it, so do you! Over and over I often hear, “That’s just the way it is…” Sure, maybe that is the way for most people, but most people I know are not chasing their dreams. They choose to fit in and play it safe. For me I feel most safe in taking risks. Risks are stepping stones to dreams. Everyone experiences fear. It is just a matter of saying fuck it and going for it. 

I’ve had a little bit of success as a business owner, but not as an artist. I guess I am just a loser. It’s a silly thing to think of and a silly thing to write, but I am okay with it. I’m okay that nobody knows my name or that most do not believe in my dreams. I’m okay with it because I know it will change. I know that because I am determined. I’m determined to make the impossible possible. Luckily I have a wife that supports my dreams. She was programmed to marry a farmer. I am far from it. I don’t fish, I don’t hunt, I’m not a fan of manual labor, I’m no longer into sports and I don’t drink beer. I write poetry, I make videos and I build businesses. I’m smart, I’m creative and I’m a risk taker. I know my worth, but if I’m a loser in the eye of the world, then so be it. I’ll wait until I cross the finish line.

Find Your Freedom,

Andrew

5.10.18

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