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the day I become an artist

I already am…

the day I recover my voice

it will all make sense

it’s easy to sleep

it’s easy to not know

To push the clouds away

and see the wall between yourself and a dream

to be reminded your own resistance placed brick by brick

what a nightmare I am starting to feel sick

So much that needs to come out

Will that stage feel like bliss?

I could travel the world and it wouldn’t be enough

I need the stage like my lungs need air

I inhale for a scream

Words recognized is the dream

It seems so easy, but years are what I need

The inability to commit has been the death of me

But I have opened the casket door time and time again

I won’t stop until I can build a wave and send


Won’t you smile with me?

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the discomfort, the emotions – all that I feel
You slip away and I become stronger
Why does it have to be this way?
The differences between
I love who I am
I’d hope that everyone could feel
Feel the magic inside
Today it is all very real
The sadness, the happiness
The growing pains that push me to my dreams
I remember myself as a child, when I used to smile
Dancing in the living room, crazy and wild
The music I heard, the music I felt
Don’t you know it is why I chose you
But my eyes were wide for the world
And just because I’m gone
Doesn’t mean I don’t love you 
I am just living my dream
And I’m starting to smile
Won’t you smile with me?
All my failures, all my risk-taking
It is just the desire to breathe the air of my purpose
I’d hope you’d understand, maybe you never will
What happens to my heart
When the tires spin down the highway
When the sun is crashing behind the mountains
With this fade to black I can see
All my childhood memories
My bike and the autumn leaves
Thank you for the good
Thank you for the bad
And today I stand as a man
Starting to smile again
Won’t you smile with me?



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Some days impossible

Some days possible

I’m in and out of my energy

But I know this won’t be the death of me

Growing taller, becoming stronger

Weaving dreams into reality 

If it all was handed to me

I would learn nothing

The struggle is where I find my strength

When success strikes, gratitude will be born

I will wash away all the pain

But I’m a dream weaver

I’m a mountain climber

Destroying doubt has become a hobby

If you only opened your eye

Maybe you could see

What you could do, who you could be

And maybe then you would believe



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the days in Wilmington, the days in Chicago
I miss my brothers…
Let us talk about the art of fighting
Let us talk about the art of loving

A wild time, a wild training
Frowns turned to smiles
Growing pains seemed to go on for miles
What a strange and wonderful time

Music in the house, music in the studio
We played into the night
We never seemed to get it right
It always came back to us two

What will come into view?
Will I be solo?
Or will we band together 
And finally see this through

Ships of relation, sailing the spiritual sky
I have to ask, are these contracts done?
Were those really goodbyes?

Will I be alone?
Will we band together?
Will a new band form in different weather?

Whatever it may be, I wish I could see
Those standing on the docks
Those that are waiting for me.



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I feel such thunder roaring through me
Cracks of lightning can be heard in the distance
And yes I am alive
A ripple of death floods through me
But I am full of life
The gas tank overflowing
I feel the way I did when I stepped onto the streets of Chicago
The way I did back in clairvoyant training
I feel my heartbeat
To wake up behind the wheel
I am older, am I wiser?
Where are the drum sticks?
Where are the strings?
Were is the microphone?
Where is my voice?
There is a room for such creative exploration
And I will make room
The rings of my creativity sing
And I will dance to such a tune


the Waves

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What is that?
I see the ocean…
Waves crashing, my heart opening
Shimmering blue in the view
I could die happy here couldn’t I?
Love, a tidal wave ripping through me
It is not just the spiritual
It is not just the body
The meeting of the two, may be the greatest marriage
The call for magic, the call for dreams
Slipping away I feel my heritage
Sadness is a bomb I feel exploding
My purpose is taking over…
When the dust clears, it will be different
But I will keep changing
The visions I had, I shall keep pulling into reality
I am the magician, a modern day wizard
With my chakras lit up, like candles in the night 
I choose to be awake
I choose to see the pain
I choose to see all the love I have to give in this game
My drive derives from my heartache and hunger
To not fill the bank, but to have deep and rich experiences
Dreams are the array of fruit for my soul 
If my bank is filled, then okay
So as long as my heart is full
And I move forward each and everyday 
I just want to feel the waves


Blow the Fuck UP

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it still amazes me, the energy
going from self-doubt to supreme confidence 
Man, when I’m running my male energy – I feel like a god
Core Pictures in the scope, if I pull the trigger will I die?
Nah underneath is my energy, I run it, it makes me feel high
I won’t tolerate these lies, stimulated and all goes to hell
Is this how far I need to fall to dance in hell, well…
Underneath I guess I’m just a bad man
I seem to disappoint everyone, I’m following my own plan
That I don’t seem to have, fuck it I’d rather be in the moment
I don’t like being mild, my business is souls gone wild
Its not business as usual, I know I’m little unusual 
But I’m just being me, free spirit, ain’t no other way to be
The tiger in my heart can’t be caged 
Too much control it’s just going to be rage

I got too many things to say to be silent
Time to open up to avoid the violence
Don’t be scared, you’re human too
If your gift was stripped, you’d be angry too
All I can do is keep it real
Here are my thoughts, this is the way I feel

Look heres the deal
I’m a songwriter at heart, but I never got a start
Too late, too old
Fuck society and its rules
I’m wise, I’m bold
Time to light this fuse
And blow the fuck up
Who the fuck am I kidding?
I’m still the same old fuck up
But I know I can reel in this dream
This life is strange, it’s as crazy as it seems
There ain’t no question, this is just what I got to do
For myself and all the people that feel like there is no use
Let me tell you, ya just gotta get out there and just do
Not for anyone else man, but for you
It’s time to write your own story, this is your life
Get up off the mat, it’s time to stand up and fight

I got too many things to say to be silent
Time to open up to avoid the violence
Don’t be scared, you’re human too
If your gift was stripped, you’d be angry too
All I can do is keep it real
Here are my thoughts, this is the way I feel

It’s time to wake up behind the wheel 
My mouth is a firearm, I’m fire
Maybe it’s time to be alarmed 
I’m alarming, sirens going off, it’s storming
Bullets raining, I’m spitting lyrics, this is a warning
I want the world the hear it
I gotta get this thing off my neck 
Tone yourself down, fuck it
I’m burning away all the pain
So my spirit can return
So I can return to sane
I got skills to build a castle 
I’ll be a king, it’s time to reign

I got too many things to say to be silent
Time to open up to avoid the violence
Don’t be scared, you’re human too
If your gift was stripped, you’d be angry too
All I can do is keep it real
Here are my thoughts, this is the way I feel