Return to Music

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It seems that when I return to teaching, I end up returning to music. When I taught meditation in Wilmington, NC, I also started practicing music. That was a long time ago! I’ve messed around with music since then, but definitely not consistently. What the hell have I been doing since then? Well, I traveled, took more spiritual trainings, got married, worked on film and writing, failed a lot and managed to build a small business and sell it.

Here I am years later, starting a new business that involves teaching and I am already feeling the urge to sing. I have a huge passion for singing, but the funny thing is, I’m not very good. Drums is what comes natural for me. I love the drums, but I not only want to sing, I HAVE to. I can’t explain it.

I honestly put music out of my head. I thought, well, if it returns to my life, great and if not, no problem. I was focused on writing, film and business. I love all of those things, I really do, but they are not music. You see, performing music in front of others would be the pinnacle for me. Life couldn’t get better than that. Just the thought of visualizing being on stage gives me a rush. Music is my greatest passion, but it is also my greatest fear. I think that is the reason I have to return to it. Sure, I have other talents and the passion for them, but I think it is very important to come face to face with your greatest fear. Music is it. It is the ultimate form of expression for me.

I’m not someone who can just do one thing in life. I love too much to just do one thing, but I feel it is time to bring music back and make it a priority. I have gone way too long not working on music. It makes me sad, it really does. I’ve never been one to just not pursue any of my dreams. That is just not me, but I think that I gave up music and thought it would be okay to just pursue one or a few of my smaller dreams. I’m not okay with this. I’m upset with nobody but myself. The only person I can blame is me. I shifted my focus to other things in life. I’ve become a better digital video editor and I think that will come in handy at some point, but it’s time to return to music. I’m ready to climb the biggest mountain of my life. I don’t care what it takes, I’m getting up this mother fucker. I’m thirty-three. If you haven’t made it by now as an artist, you are suppose to just move on in life. I don’t subscribe to that. What I do know is that, I have to make it a commitment to practice. I already know how to write. I’ve been doing it for years, but singing will take time and I’m okay with that.

I’m feeling a lot right now. I’m angry, I’m sad and I’m incredibly happy. It seems as though you can’t run from your greatest dream. It will haunt you like an obsessed ex girlfriend screaming at you saying, “we belong together!” Well it is time we reunite. Music that is…

What is your greatest dream? How have you struggled with pursuing it?

Find Your Freedom,
Andrew

7.13.18 | IL

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Raise your Flag

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I have a anarchy tattoo on my face and my wife cusses like a sailor. We are a little edgy and I like that about us. After all, our brand name is – Souls Gone Wild. We decided to create our own unique path and here we are, traveling and teaching in a RV. This blog may offend people, but the intention is to bring inspiration. My eBook, Slaves to Society, is designed to light people up. It is suppose to get you thinking  about what you want to pursue and why you aren’t going after it. But yeah, it is very raw and vulgar. I just started a new book which will be about our adventures on the road. That too, will be filled with sarcasm, humor, creativity and vulgarity. Eventually I would like to create a book on meditation and most may think that it should be very proper, clean and professional. Nope, I will also keep it real with that too. There are plenty of boring books on spirituality already out there. 

I think people appreciate realness, but I do recognize with my voice and content, people will either love it or hate it and I am completely okay with it. I don’t create for others. I create for myself. That is how I keep myself happy. Look at music. Bands evolve over time and so can their style. Fans tend to get upset about this, but in the end it is the musicians music, not the fans. There will always be someone who will love your art and those who will hate it. 

I have a great affinity for self expression and embracing my identity. One of the best feelings I can’t think of is being myself. Often I’ve felt that I’ve had to tune everything down. Well, it is time to turn up the volume! It’s time to raise the flag on the pirate ship and show who I really am. Some might think, geez Andrew, are you coming out of the closet or something? Haha – no. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but no, I’ve just always felt I couldn’t be intense, or edgy or say what is on my mind. I’ve felt that I’ve had to hold it all back. That my friends is not healthy. Hoist your freak flag and be proud of you, and those that don’t like it – fuck em.

Find Your Freedom,
Andrew

6.17.18 | NJ

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What picture would you paint?

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It has almost been a month and a half since we have been in New Jersey and I must say I am ready to move on. I think two weeks is my ideal time to stay in one place, but a month is the max for me. What can I say, I like to keep moving. For example, I worked a seasonal job in Colorado and it was amazing. The place and the people were great, but by the time we left, I was ready to move on. 

We have a few more things lined up here in NJ such as another Cape May visit, Stone Harbor and more yoga videos to shoot. After that we hit the road. To be honest I am excited to get out west. I have always been drawn towards it and really like the energy. I also like warm weather.

This experience has been great so far, but it is also very bizarre. I can feel everyones energy. When are you going to settle down? When are you going to get “real jobs?” When are you going to buy a house? When are you going to have children? I feel the demands and expectations for someone who is married and in their early 30’s. 

I would be deeply sad if I did not see the world. You see I’m not afraid of the world. I think it is incredible. I like the idea of exploring others cultures because I have an affinity for new experiences, but also to really see what a place is like. Sometimes I think the television paints fear over certain countries, cultures and groups of people and I just don’t buy it. 

I’m going to travel this world; one state a time, one country at a time, one continent at at time. I’m going to document it through writing, film and music. I don’t care if it takes my entire life.

Life to me is not what my parents say it is. It’s not what the church says, nor is it what my teachers have told me. It is not written in a book. My friends all over the country don’t have the answer. I hold the paint brush, I paint the pictures. This is my life. 

My words may be disappointing, but also may be inspiring. I have to ask though, do you have control of your paint brush? What colors would you paint with? What picture would you paint? What would your life look like?

Find Your Freedom,
Andrew

6.11.18 | NJ

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A New Mission

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Ever since I had success as an entrepreneur, my goal has always been to remain an entrepreneur. The whole process of becoming my own boss had a big impact to my identity and survival space, but now I am on a new mission. My mission is to reclaim my voice. When I interact with people sometimes I just don’t know what to say or I just hold back from saying things. It wasn’t always like that though. I used to feel very comfortable saying whatever was on my mind or however I felt. I was always very comfortable with public speaking. I want that back. I am determined. 

Because I have difficulty with expressing myself in everyday life, I focus on being creative. Playing the drums, writing poetry, making films – they are different ways of expressing myself. I love it. A big issue I have is that I enjoy so many different aspects of art. Because of that it makes it hard for me to focus on one thing though and be really good at that one thing. I struggle with that because some days I wake up and I am all about writing, other days its all about film and then there are days I am in the mood to make people laugh. I like having options and I tend to get bored very easily. I like moving place to place, working on different creative projects. 

I am really excited to go deeper into my voice. I think inevitably, I will start singing more and getting into music again. I think everyday conversations will change for me as well. Just the way I express myself through writing, perhaps I will be able to do the same in conversation. I also really look forward to doing speeches. I have a lot of information I want to share with people that can be inspirational. 

I have been through numerous classes and trainings that have been very healing, but the journey has not stopped. I continue to heal, learn, grow and change. I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way. I am a man on a mission!

Find Your Freedom,

Andrew

5.26.18 | NJ

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