I was talking to a student on Cambly (a platform where I teach english) and the topic of the “Mid-Life Crisis” came up. What I was noticing was the weight of the external expectations hindering his ability to really believe in himself and his dreams. This is something that I have struggled with and see many others have difficulties with. There comes a point in your life where you are going to have to make a decision – do you put all your energy into the expectations (usually from parents, society, etc) and play it safe? Or do you choose your dream and risk disappointing those around you? And trust me, ignoring this is very much a choice – one that will bite you in the ass later in life, wether it is the “mid-life crisis” or the regret felt when confronting death.
I remember this student asking me well what if you choose your dream and fail? That’s a great question. Because it is a real possibility you could simply just fail and never achieve your dream, right? This is my greatest fear. This fear goes beyond any of my other fears. It goes beyond public speaking and performing. The thought of not achieving major dreams in my life would crush me.
I’m bit of radical individual though. I don’t do life like most. My dreams are everything to me, they always have been. I’m not the type of person where I give myself only 5 years to achieve my dream then I just move on and do what everyone else wants me to do. I’m the type of guy that will spend my entire life pursuing a dream. If I don’t achieve it then I can make my departure knowing I gave it my all. I would rather that than playing it safe.
Here is what I think though. If you start believing in yourself, can visualize your dream clearly and are putting the time and energy to grow towards your dream – then I think you have a good shot. The key is patience. We need to give our dream time to manifest. If it takes five years great, but what if it needs ten or fifteen years? Would you be willing to have that level of commitment?
The mid-life crisis is when the lie or the expectation of who you are and / or what you are supposed to do in life begins to fall apart. The lie can no longer live on. It feels like a fucking nightmare and that is because it is. You are stuck in someone else’s picture, someone else’s energy. The key when dealing with a mid-life crisis is perspective. When a lie is falling apart, that means something new is just around the corner. What is underneath the lie? What is around the corner? What would your new journey look like?
Sure I know, who really wants to start over in life? Especially in older age, right? I have started over many times and yes I am only in my early 30’s, but people have started late in life and went on to achieve great things. If you have not noticed, I am very passionate about dreams. I love hearing about peoples dreams and I love seeing people achieve their dreams. It’s awesome. I want to inspire others to go after their dreams. I believe in the human spirit and believe in dreams. Dreams are important. It is the food for the soul. It is the food for YOU.
I have so much ground to cover, but traveling is one of my dreams. That is what I am doing right now and before that, it was a small business. I can’t tell you how many times I have failed or fucked up. Too many times to count. The path to your version of success is absolutely messy. It isn’t perfect. All I know at this point is that I will continue to grow toward my other dreams that I have.
Sure, avoiding a mid life crisis would be nice to avoid, but if it happens, perhaps it could be viewed not just as a terrible event in your life, but as a gateway to your TRUTH.